so i have this blog. that much you know. but i don't think i've ever written about why i blog. a couple of years ago i changed. my life changed, but i changed too. i started really liking myself.
i've led the kind of life that i've always wanted to write about. i remember 12 years or so ago wanting to write the book of my childhood. i even had a title. "the girl called angel; the woman named angela". cheese fest, huh? i led a very difficult childhood. it wasn't easy. it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine like childhoods should be. i was forced to grow up way too fast. forced into womanhood before i should have been. so many stories are in my head. so many memories that while aren't all great, i desperately want to share.
i want to share my life with you all. that's crazy right? i must be crazy to want to tell you what i've gone through. but part of me wants to scream it from the rooftops so that if there's another small girl out there that is going through similar things, she will know that it's ok. that she will be ok. but i still find it hard to write about these things. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
what? me? care? i know huh? but this is it, i don't care if i hurt your feelings talking about myself. if you don't like me or my stories, than why are you here? but to tell my past, they're not just my stories. they belong to those in them as well. and like i said, not all rainbows and sunshine. so how do i tell the stories without hurting those in them? i don't know. which is why they haven't been written.
even now, in the present, this blog isn't what i want it to be. sure, it's pretty and i love sharing pictures with all of you, but i want to share more. i'm just so damned self conscious in my writing skills that i don't even really try. it's one thing to throw some pics up and not get traffic and comments. i love my pictures, i don't care if you do. but my writing....my words....those i'm desperate for you to like. so i keep them inside.
but you know what? what good are they doing inside? none. sure i tell them to people in real life. in front of me. facial gestures are a fantastic thing. you know? so from now on, i'm going to write one deep photo free post a month. ok, maybe not deep but photo free, yes.
so, be nice, ok. thanks!
I love your writing! I check in every day and am disappointed when you don't post. Your writing about your KFC experience had me doubling over in laughter. I wanted it to keep going.
ReplyDeleteI blog because I found a journal of my mother's after she passed away, and it was a glimpse into parts of her I never knew. It was a treasure, and I want my kids to have that too.
And judgmental people suck. Ignore them. They are not worth it. If someone has an issue, they don't have to read your blog.
I, on the other hand will be back every day hoping you continue to write.
(((Angel))) I'm giving your sweet little Angel a big, big hug. Little girls should be allowed to be little girls. I'm deeply sorry you had events force your maturity too soon and I am very honored that you would share your stories. I'm sure there are others you will help and by sharing your childhood too. And you will allow us to help support and heal your little Angel. You are very brave and wise, Angela. Much love to you. <3
ReplyDeletethank you to both of you. it truly means so much to me. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, nice to officially *meet* you. I hope that your space becomes all that you want it to be and I look forward to getting to know you better here, and on Twitter. Once you've figured out which voice works best here - - which will always ALWAYS be YOURS - - (no matter WHAT you're talking about, or why) you will feel that your blog is exactly how you want it to be. I hope that makes some kind of sense. I'm dealing w/a screaming and crying 5yo who scraped herself against the couch that the cats tear up. Fahb-u-lous, no?
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your writing... and your pictures and your blog. I have really enjoyed getting to know you.... and think what a shame it is that we don't live closer together! I honestly think you will bless more people than you know with your "stories". If this is your dream... to get these stories out, then do it. If you are concerned about those who may be in your stories, you can always change them little bits to not give away people or places. I promise.... I'll be here (from far away) to support you 100%. I'm proud of you for doing what means so much to you! Don't let those few people that may judge you scare you away... because I really believe that the majority of people will support you and be happy for you.... and laugh with you when you are smiling and cry with you when you are sad. But ultimately, it' is YOUR blog.... no one elses. And you are leaving a legacy for your children... they will cherish this for ever.
ReplyDeleteJust now getting to read this, but I am so glad I get to say HOORAY! Good for you brave woman. Go out there and write. Write for everyone. Write for yourself, and write for us. Can't wait to see what you have cooking in there, dear. xoxoxo
ReplyDelete