8/25/12

{you know what helps curb an appetite? mold}

that's right.  mold.  so we all know i've been failing trying to lose weight.  so i now have an egg white and turkey bacon breakfast sandwich from my starbucks when i'm too lazy to walk to the back of the store to get something better sometimes.  today i ordered my sandwich and was sitting here doing mad hard work.  and i looked down. 

what goes through my head:

mold.  wait, mold?  no.  that can't be mold.  is that mold?  omfg i just ate half of this.  how much mold did i just eat?  is that why it tasted weird?  does mold have a taste?  wait, is it mold?  that looks like mold.  that looks like that weird white crap on the bottom of bread sometimes.  flour.  yeah flour.  but this is a whole wheat muffin.  that looks green.  green.  mold is green.  omg that's mold.  that's really mold?  is it mold?  omg i don't know.  yeah.  yeah.  yeah.  yeah.  definitely mold.  definitely.

so i do what anybody would do and bring it back out to starbucks to show the barista.  omg she says.  is that mold?  really?  weird.  and she checks the rest.  they look fine.  and now, out in different light, in front of someone, i don't know if it's really mold.

mold?  is it mold?  this looks like mold but this looks like something else.  different mold?  maybe i'm just paranoid.  am i paranoid?  i feel sick.  do i really feel sick?  mold.  ughhh.  she doesn't think it's mold.  she thinks i'm crazy.  am i crazy?  am i that person?  omg i just brought out my half eaten sandwich and pointed at spots on it that probably aren't even mold.  i am crazy.  i am that person.  omg i'm that crazy old lady with the hunchback that complains about every little thing.  i don't want to be her.  but it was mold.  right?

right at the very point when i'm pointing at the parts that i think are mold, a guest walks up and says "oh no, is there something wrong with the breakfast sandwiches?  i was just going to get one."

"no." i say.  "i'm just paranoid".  cause, now i'm not sure.

what i am sure of, when the barista asks if i want a new one, I DO NOT.  i can't possibly go through that crazy in my head again.

thanks though.

{on the plus side, this should help with my daily intake for toay.}

6 comments:

  1. gross. but kind of awesome that you only ate half... you might be onto something, moldy food curbs the appetite for sure. as do ants... and ant droppings in your nachos :/

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    1. what the heck does ant droppings look like???????? gross.

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  2. So was it mold? Ack! That's yucky!

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  3. Gross! How long was it sitting in their display? I thought that they made that stuff fresh every day!

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    1. they are frozen and then thawed overnight in a fridge and then heated up. if it was mold, not really their fault. could have been there when processed at the plant. yuck.

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