10/11/12

{national coming out day}

today is national coming out day.  there is a very good article over at the {human rights campaign} site about it.  you can read about the history of coming out day {here}

i realized just about three years ago that i was in love with a woman.  it should have been a shock to me.  i had never had these feelings about a woman before.  i was always "attracted" to women in the "oh-look-she's-very-sexy-and-or-very-cute" kind of way but never did i feel love or sexual feelings towards a woman.  i thought all girls had those thoughts.  plus, i was married to a man and it was my second marriage {to a man}.  so yeah, i should have been shocked but i wasn't.  it seemed so natural...

people fall in love with a person, not a gender.  -Darren Criss

if you ask me what my sexuality is, i'd say i'm not sure.  i'm not sure which of these bubbles that people have created that i fit in.  and why do i need to be in a bubble?  why do i need to define it for others?  i love lisa.  period.  end of story.  if that means that i'm a lesbian, so be it.  if that and the fact that i've been with men before makes me bi-sexual, so be it.  i'm in the "i-love-lisa-forever-and-ever-and-call-me-what-you'd-like-for-it" bubble.  seriously.  why we feel the need to fit everyone into neat little bubbles in life is beyond me.

i've had the story of how this blog came about and got it's title in my drafts FOREVER and i've never published it because it just doesn't seem to be flowing right yet.  does that make sense?  but i do want to share part of what i shared there because i feel like it's important.  today especially.

my coming out story was kind of a non-event.  i decided it was time and i called my family.  i wasn't afraid to tell them because i was in a position in life where if they didn't support me then they could just, well, screw off.  seriously.  some of you may read that and cringe but it's how i felt.  if the people that were close to me in life didn't love me for me then they didn't deserve my love in return.  luckily, everyone was supportive.  and if they weren't they were smart enough not to let me know. some people i told didn't seem surprised.  some had questions.  but mostly, it was "i love you no matter what."

with all this support comes a feeling of cheating the system.  people agonize over telling their parents, friends and family.  agonize.  it's so scary and painful for a lot of people.  and then when they do come out, they're bullied or treated differently.  it's just so hard for some.  and yet for me, it was just what it was.  nothing more, nothing less.  and that's how it should be for everyone.

i've heard about people coming out and going through torture for it.  young kids killing themselves over it.  i just can't imagine.  it's like hating someone for the color of their skin, their eyes, their hair.  hating someone for being born.  how is that possible?  possible to hate another human being for being themselves.  really.  think about it.  people have such hatred towards gay people simply because they're gay.  what if that hatred was attached to people that are born in february or people that have size 8 feet.  dumb right?  exactly.

there is a wonderful organization called the It Gets Better Project.  this is from their about us...
"The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better."

you can even take a pledge on the site to speak up against ignorance and hate and provide hope for these teens that are being bullied.  so go on, take the pledge.  i'll wait.

i'm sure you've all seen an "it gets better" commercial on tv or on youtube.  this one is very cute.  some of them are very very sad.



please teach your children to accept people.  please don't teach them hatred.  they could grow up to be one of those devastatingly sad cases where they don't feel like it will ever get better.  one of the kids that hate their lives.  one of the kids that feels like they can't come to you and tell them who they are.  one of the kids that kills themselves.  or worse yet, one of the kids that's bullying another kid so much for being different that they are the reason that that kid takes their life.

and it doesn't stop at sexuality.  people are bullied everyday for a million different reasons.  bullying is ignorance.  we have a responsibility to teach our children not to be ignorant.  not to hurt others with their actions or words.

let's set an example by loving each other despite our differences and make our world a safer place for our children.

14 comments:

  1. This was beautiful, girl. Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad your loved ones supported you through your *coming out* or whatever you want to refer to it as. It sounds like you have an amazing family and support system. You didn't cheat anything, you're lucky, blessed, whatever words work for you. Sending hugs. :>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you. your words mean so much. truly. :)

      Delete
  2. Awesome. Thank you for sharing a very personal post. We don't talk enough about this subject in the blogosphere. I think you gave us just enough for impact. I love the it gets better campaign for many reasons, but mostly because it can save lives.
    Xoxo
    Megan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! It's definitely not talked about enough and it's still happening. Your kind words mean a lot. :)

      Delete
  3. Fabulous post. Thanks for sharing, I hope somebody out there comes away with a better view now because of it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! That really means a lot. :)

      Delete
  4. You know I don't comment often, but I took the time to comment today because this is one special post. I truly enjoyed reading it, and am very happy that you are comfortable in your life. And kuddos to your family for accepting you the way you are and making it a non-issue.

    I have always chuckled at the blog title...can't wait to read more about how you chose it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much. It really means a lot to me that you commented today. :)

      Delete
  5. Hello dear. I got to read this *on* National Coming Out day, but it was in bed and on my phone, so I didn't get to comment until now. Is it fair to say I think you're brave when you feel like you cheated the system? Just because you "got lucky" and had a wonderful system of supportive family and friends, doesn't mean it takes some bravery to follow your heart. (Heck sometimes just quitting a job to follow your heart means you're brave!)

    So let me say this. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for writing about teaching our children about acceptance vs ignorance (something we try to do every day, and here in the south it can get tricky). Thank you for living your life the way it's meant to be lived.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much for your kind words lauren. they mean so much. and yes, i suppose i was brave. aren't we all in some way or another? :)

      Delete
  6. Excellent post!! It is a beautiful thing to find "The One" and so many of us have yet to experience that. Man. Woman. Who cares? Love is love. It can be wonderfully unpredictable and we should all embrace it... in whatever form. I truly hope that there will come a day that people will care less about how others live and focus more on their own happiness. It will make the world a much better place! I am happy that you have found your life partner in Lisa and that your family embraced her with open minds and hearts. All the best!! Y

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Yvette! love is love. plain and simple. your kind words mean so much. :)

      Delete