{Our Scout Elf is a Slacker}

Guys, I see on the internet all these fancy scout elves that do amazingly awesome things. Seriously, I don't know why Santa sent us a lameo elf. Our elf is so lazy that he often doesn't even report back to the fat man every night. My kids are only at my house 50% of the time which means he gets more vacation days than any other elf out there and he still cant' manage to fly his creepy ass back to the North Pole.

Seriously, your elves do crazy ass stuff. I mean a quick google search found the following...

Take cotton ball baths.
Play hair salon with other dolls.
Wrap your toilet in wrapping paper. {This elf is just messed up}
Using a box of tissues as his bed. {Maybe this elf is related to ours = lazy}
Making snowflakes out of Q Tips.
Building igloos out of sugar cubes.
Ziplining????????
Flour snow angels.
Messing with the kids milk.
Toilet papering the tree.

There are a million other things these elves do every night. Our elf, barely moves. Geesh! And don't get me started on those naughty elves. Some of these elves need to be in rehab or locked in jail. Not spying on our kids every night.

This is Balsam. And this is by far the fanciest thing he's ever done. He must be getting slack at the NP for being such a loser.



Thank god my kids don't really use the internet yet. They'd be devastated that Balsam is such a slacker elf.